I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
