Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
