either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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