he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
