Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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