i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
