Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
