I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
