Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
