Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
