I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
