TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
