Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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