your room smells of hookers.
And success
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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