Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
