drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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