What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Send help, water and tortillas.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
