with your own penis?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
