He kissed a someone with a penis
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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