And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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