You work out of a Hotel?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize