i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
