literally had 100 drinks last night.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
me + whiskey = a bad person
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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