$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
