I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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