I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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