fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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