I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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