Define "chronic" masturbator.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
