so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Who wears a wallet chain?!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
