I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
