then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
