So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
