My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
