I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms