i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.