the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..