Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.

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(631): View more from New York

Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(905): View more from Toronto

Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.

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(205): View more from Alabama

i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.

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(425): View more from Washington

Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.

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