Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Nicole vs. Life
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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