remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
