Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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