K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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