I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
