reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
