there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
