Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
