Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
