FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
