If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
