My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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