i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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