Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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