Soap is not a condiment
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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