In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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