ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
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Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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