I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize