This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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