After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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