quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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