Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
