best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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