absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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