they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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