ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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