Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
