just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.