that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?