i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
