Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?

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  (704): the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer? http://tfl.nu/buzt
  Replies (9) Good night (720) Bad night (1260)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.

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  (662): My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room. http://tfl.nu/yex2
  Replies (5) Good night (1565) Bad night (826)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Is it any good?

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.

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  (615): Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet. (404): Is it any good? (615): Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that. http://tfl.nu/ptq9
  Replies (46) Good night (3672) Bad night (604)
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  (650): View more from California

  My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.

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  (650): My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent. http://tfl.nu/z7vz
  Replies (7) Good night (905) Bad night (3258)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days

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  (973): but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days http://tfl.nu/g4qr
  Replies (20) Good night (3841) Bad night (697)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them

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  (203): the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them http://tfl.nu/iz6h
  Replies (16) Good night (577) Bad night (3683)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.

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  (404): Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm. http://tfl.nu/cydy
  Replies (12) Good night (6197) Bad night (1063)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.

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  (613): you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun. http://tfl.nu/3wdo
  Replies (4) Good night (2491) Bad night (792)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.

  (1-471): View more from

  That's all you talk about when you are wasted.

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  (417): So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history. (1-471): That's all you talk about when you are wasted. http://tfl.nu/3q4b
  Replies (13) Good night (2613) Bad night (946)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.

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  (828): YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED. http://tfl.nu/ns1x
  Replies (11) Good night (1814) Bad night (1032)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.

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  (302): This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy. http://tfl.nu/3zpx
  Replies (2) Good night (849) Bad night (319)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.

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  (954): Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake. http://tfl.nu/0nfr
  Replies (3) Good night (735) Bad night (334)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  151 hangover. Need apocalypse.

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  (330): 151 hangover. Need apocalypse. http://tfl.nu/xu7i
  Replies (3) Good night (1005) Bad night (455)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.

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  (817): I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday. http://tfl.nu/g52l
  Replies (5) Good night (418) Bad night (878)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.

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  (248): People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves. http://tfl.nu/gb5a
  Replies (2) Good night (317) Bad night (670)

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