Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates

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(201): Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates http://tfl.nu/tqkf

Replies (7) Good night (537) Bad night (1133)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head

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(617): You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head http://tfl.nu/n3kb

Replies (5) Good night (1136) Bad night (4081)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.

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(504): Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon. http://tfl.nu/mwyy

Replies (19) Good night (1232) Bad night (4280)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.

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(248): I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial. http://tfl.nu/t70i

Replies (12) Good night (7142) Bad night (999)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.

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(816): Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned. http://tfl.nu/ygc3

Replies (14) Good night (5379) Bad night (835)
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(443): View more from Maryland

We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.

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(443): We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status. http://tfl.nu/kzoi

Replies (43) Good night (15221) Bad night (1368)
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(954): View more from Florida

I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.

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(954): I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate. http://tfl.nu/yurv

Replies (9) Good night (3753) Bad night (710)
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(559): View more from California

well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"

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(559): well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle" http://tfl.nu/25nv

Replies (7) Good night (936) Bad night (2503)
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(330): View more from Ohio

After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.

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(330): After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator. http://tfl.nu/loee

Replies (5) Good night (1657) Bad night (620)
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(315): View more from New York

The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....

(507): View more from Minnesota

.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....

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(315): The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar..... (507): .....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls.... http://tfl.nu/yj71

Replies (5) Good night (845) Bad night (563)
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(979): View more from Texas

She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?

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(979): She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low? http://tfl.nu/2el8

Replies (9) Good night (924) Bad night (1783)
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(740): View more from Ohio

You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j

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(740): You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j http://tfl.nu/94ee

Replies (3) Good night (644) Bad night (382)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.

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(307): Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me. http://tfl.nu/8ybs

Replies (0) Good night (1252) Bad night (280)
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(925): View more from California

Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.

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(925): Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy. http://tfl.nu/3c9o

Replies (1) Good night (587) Bad night (187)
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(562): View more from California

We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.

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(562): We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt. http://tfl.nu/27nr

Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (219)

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