It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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