Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.

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  (630): That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it. http://tfl.nu/khhu
  Replies (12) Good night (784) Bad night (3308)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass

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  (406): Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass http://tfl.nu/uf2h
  Replies (20) Good night (2303) Bad night (1408)
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  (646): View more from New York

  miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.

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  (646): miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god. http://tfl.nu/4rhl
  Replies (374) Good night (3480) Bad night (8848)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class

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  (785): a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class http://tfl.nu/uh5h
  Replies (26) Good night (4701) Bad night (1072)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral

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  (506): so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral http://tfl.nu/0vqu
  Replies (16) Good night (6079) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics

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  (716): My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics http://tfl.nu/wc24
  Replies (50) Good night (5464) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster

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  (630): nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster http://tfl.nu/9e73
  Replies (6) Good night (864) Bad night (3164)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.

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  (330): Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/jkmt
  Replies (2) Good night (2421) Bad night (968)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone

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  (216): he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone http://tfl.nu/anp6
  Replies (5) Good night (4290) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.

  (415): View more from California

  Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?

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  (937): Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given. (415): Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes? http://tfl.nu/8d8c
  Replies (4) Good night (1077) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.

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  (203): Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks. http://tfl.nu/96bx
  Replies (3) Good night (411) Bad night (1531)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.

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  (865): I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital. http://tfl.nu/8bn2
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?

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  (256): On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs? http://tfl.nu/5plk
  Replies (1) Good night (871) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.

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  (606): You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep. http://tfl.nu/jgge
  Replies (2) Good night (352) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.

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  (978): THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT. http://tfl.nu/7was
  Replies (5) Good night (412) Bad night (482)

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