i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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