That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
